14 Parents Share the Weirdest Thing Their Child Has Randomly Said

funny kids saying weird things

Kids are infamous for saying horrible, inappropriate, yet hilarious things. You'll be humiliated, but you can't help but laugh. A Reddit thread asked parents to share the most unintentionally hilarious thing their child has ever said. Here are some of the funniest ones out of the conversation:

1. No More Cable For Her

My 4 year old blond angelic looking daughter told her visiting grandparent's to "Bite my shiny metal ass". Bless her.

2. Cheap Present

I asked my three year old what he wanted for his birthday. His response? "Cheese."

3. The Party Worm

My five year old daughter was playing My Little Ponies when I heard her say the funniest thing I've ever heard. She said, "I'm Slurms McKenzie, the Original Party Worm." No idea where she heard that or how she came up with it.

4. The Tooth Fairy

Daughter (3 1/2 years old) – The tooth fairy came last night.

Wife – Oh really.

Daughter – Yeah she was really, really big.

Wife- Oh yeah?

Daughter- Yeah, but it is ok I killed her. She is dead.

5. The Walking Dead

My son, 4 at the time, looked me square in the eye during dinner and said "I'm not worried about Zombies mom, I'll just dig out their eyes with my fork."

6. Different Language

My nephew had inner ear problems for quite a while and so his parents and my parents seemed to be the only people who could understand him until he was about 7. It was very confusing for me when he'd run into the room and yell what sounded like "FLAGNA TRUMIN BRANA FNUAR!" and my mother would say "No you can't have a bag of crisps".

7. No Thanks, Maroon 5

My three year old daughter loves listening and dancing around to 'Moves like Jagger'. After about the 4th repeat my eight year old son stands up and says, "That's it, I am going to my room to listen to Pink Floyd!" and storms off. Never been more proud!

8. Story Time

My four year old will sit next to his little sister (one and a half) and ask her if she wants to hear a story. If she keeps looking at him, he begins with "Once upon a time," and then he launches into his latest exploits on Mario 64 or Zelda. He goes into detail about the "monsters" he can't get past and how his trains keep getting blown up. He's very original.

9. Star Wars

My girlfriend's kid calls Star Wars "Tar Whores"

One time while playing he loudly declared "I want octopus water, to hell with your drinks!"

10. Self Esteem

My daughter is three, and has taken to coming up to my belly, jiggling it, and saying, "Ewwwww, that's your body!" Self-esteem boost, let me tell ya.

11. Mariah Carey

Not my child, but my little sister, at age two, was with my family at Christmas. 'All I Want for Christmas is You' by Mariah Carey started playing. She immediately stopped playing with her toys, tilted her head sideways quizzically, then said: 'This isn't good music!'

12. Brutal Honesty

I just had a baby a week ago (C-section) and was in the bathroom looking at my belly in the mirror. My 5 year old son walked in and with a very serious, very pained voice said "your body is… so OLD."

13. Ominous

The other day, my three-and-a-half-year-old daughter was hanging out with my wife. My daughter said "I love you so much! I want to keep you forever, but I can't because you're gonna die…..BUT NOT YET!" and then she gave my wife a big hug.

14. Jesus is Cool

A family friend's four year old came up to me and said, "Jesus is pretty cool."

I wasn't really sure what to say to that, so I just said, "Yeah, why do you think that?"

He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Jesus came back from the grave, which makes him a zombie. Zombies are awesome!"